Friday, March 1, 2013

Bonding

bond-ing
noun
1. A relationship that usually begins at birth between a parent and offspring that establishes the basis for an ongoing mutual attachment.

Last spring I began to wonder what it would be like to be Ally's mom in real life. I wondered what it would be like to bond with a baby who didn't know me or know that I was her mother...or maybe didn't even know what a mother was.

 I asked God to knit our hearts together. Since then, I have been watching the answer to that prayer unfold.

I have had the honor of mothering nine newborns. Each time it was amazing and beautiful beyond words. Being able to mother Alayna has been just as inexpressibly beautiful.  

Oh, how I love this precious girl.

I shared that she has let me rock her to sleep every night since we brought her home and that played a big part in our bonding. I have spent hours and hours rocking my babies over the years and to be able to spend hours rocking Ally has been a wonderful blessing.

I'm pretty sure that she first let me rock her out of sheer exhaustion. Between all the changes and the 7 hour time difference, poor girl was tired for the first week. She would always fall asleep within minutes...her head on my shoulder...her face turned away from mine.

We were strangers at first, so she kept her heart guarded. She wasn't comfortable with too much closeness. For the first few days, if I sat next to her on the floor, she would often turn around, literally turning her back on me. If she was facing me and I reached my hands out to ask if she wanted to come to me, she would often pout and turn her head. Her body language spoke loud and clear, "No way, lady."

But then every night she would relax on my shoulder and fall asleep as I rocked her and sang to her and prayed for her and told her how much her Mama loves her. I feel like God used that time to unlock her heart and allow her to accept the mothering that she missed out on and so desperately needs.

Slowly, she began to let me in a little by little. I would hold out my hands and ask, "Do you want to come and see Mama?" and she would pout and turn her head, but I would notice a little softening in her eyes so I would smile and ask again. Then sunshine would burst forth on her face and she'd reach her little arms to be picked up and she'd want to be held close.



More and more when I rocked her she began turning her face toward mine. She stayed awake a little longer and began to babble along and smile when I would sing to her. She would reach up and touch my face with her sweet little hands and snuggle in a little closer.

Now she likes to fall asleep with her face snuggled right up to mine. She continues to seek us out more and more....to accept our love and return it in the most endearing  ways.

She is starting to understand so many things that she had no concept of at first.

Love. Family. Security. Home.

As He knits our hearts together, they become more meshed and intertwined.  To us, she is most definitely our girl. To her, we are becoming her family day by day. It's becoming natural and comfortable...she's beginning to trust. It's such an amazing thing to watch and to experience.



I have been so very thankful each time the Lord has given us a new little one, and I am completely overwhelmed when I think of all that He did to bring Ally into our family. That He chose us for her and her for us...wow!

Thank you, thank you Lord. 

4 comments:

  1. Oh Sabrina I love this post. So glad she is doing so well. She is beautiful!

    Tina

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  2. How wonderful that she will let you rock her. I wish Bella would let me rock her but she will only stay on my lap for a minute or two. She let me that first week or so but I think that was due to exhaustion or fear.

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  3. This was beautiful, Sabrina...thank you for sharing :)

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